I got earrings for my engagement.
Not a ring. Earrings.
I was 24, and honestly? I had zero expectations. Nobody in my world was whispering “it better be at least a carat.” You got engaged because you were in love. The ring was an afterthought, if it existed at all. I was not thinking about it.
My husband is different. He spent almost half his life in Canada — surrounded by that North American idea that a proposal means a ring. A real one, with a stone – in a box. That idea gets into you whether you want it to or not. It’s in the movies, in the jewellery store windows, in the way people react when they see a proposal without a ring.
But he was never a traditional man. So he looked at the whole engagement ring tradition, thought about who I was, and did something completely different.
He drew earrings. By hand. On paper. His own design.
Then he gave the drawing to his mother and asked her to make them.
I didn’t know any of that when he gave them to me. They weren’t the most extravagant thing, but they touched something I didn’t expect to be touched. I keep thinking about it right now, and 20 years later I value that even more.
That was a long time ago. And somehow, that story is the reason willyoulove.me exists. Because the more rings I look at, the more I realise: where you grow up completely changes what you think love is supposed to look like on your finger.
The American Way: Dream Big, Finance If You Have To
In America, the average engagement ring cost $7,200 in 2025. And that’s considered modest. There are entire financial products built around buying a ring — personal loans, jeweller financing, buy now pay later schemes. More than 70% of American engagement ring buyers already carry some form of debt when they make the purchase. They do it anyway.
The “three months salary” rule — now widely mocked — was actually invented by De Beers in a 1930s marketing campaign. Americans largely abandoned the rule but kept the spirit of it. The ring should mean something financially. It should cost something real. It should announce itself.
Americans typically spend about twice what Europeans spend on engagement rings. Part of that is culture — the ring is both an emotional symbol and a status signal. The pressure to buy something that reflects your financial standing is genuinely higher in America than anywhere in Europe.
And diamonds dominate. Over 85% of American engagement rings feature diamonds, with the average stone sitting at 1.7 carats. That is not a subtle stone.
The French Way: Small, Chic, and Honestly Quite Perfect
Meanwhile in Paris, a woman is looking at a ring that costs a fraction of the American average and thinking it’s exactly right.
French women who choose diamonds go small — typically 0.3 to 0.4 carats. But many don’t choose diamonds at all. Colored gemstones are widely preferred — sapphires, rubies, emeralds. Stones chosen for their beauty and personality, not their size.
“It’s not really a competition for who has the biggest diamond,” one French stylist put it. “We appreciate more a ring designed by the husband, or one with a history — like a family ring.”
Resetting a family heirloom is deeply popular in France. The ring belonged to someone. It has a story. That matters more than the carat weight.
The proposal itself is also different. In many French families, the couple chooses the ring together — it’s a joint decision, not a surprise. Less Hollywood, more honest. And honestly? I find that more romantic, not less.
The Italian Way: Heirlooms and Thin Gold Bands
Italy sits somewhere between deep tradition and elegant simplicity. Heirloom rings are hugely popular — especially in older families, where the groom gives his bride a ring that has been passed down for generations, and will eventually go to their children.
There’s also the veretta — a thin single band set all the way around with small stones. Called an eternity ring in other countries. Delicate. Continuous. Nothing like the wide cathedral settings that fill American jewellery stores.
Italian engagement rings feel like they were made to be worn every day, not admired in a box.
So Why Are They So Different?
It’s not just money. France and Italy are not poor countries. This is about values.
Europeans tend to value discretion. A very large diamond reads as showing off. A small sapphire, or a grandmother’s ring, reads as having taste — and the confidence not to need anyone’s approval.
Americans were shaped by De Beers. By Hollywood. By the cultural idea that love should be visible, measurable, and impressive. The ring is proof. Proof of commitment, of seriousness, of love that was willing to sacrifice something real to exist.
Neither is wrong. They’re just different languages for the same feeling.
And Then There Are the People Who Invent Their Own Language
My husband didn’t follow the American tradition. He didn’t follow the European one either.
He drew something. Asked his mother to make it. Kept one for himself.
I think about that whenever I find a ring that feels completely unlike anything else — something that couldn’t have come from a trend, or a rule, or a marketing campaign. Something that only exists because one person sat down and thought: what do I really want for my love?
That’s the question willyoulove.me was built around. Not what the tradition says. Not what the algorithm recommends. Just: what is the right ring for this particular person, living this particular life?
If you’re somewhere between the French instinct for discretion and the American instinct for something that takes your breath away — you’re in the right place.
👉 Browse all rings at willyoulove.me
Skai is the founder of willyoulove.me — a curation site where every engagement ring is handpicked and categorised by profession, style and stone. No algorithms. No brand deals. Just beautiful rings, chosen with intention.